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Admiral Hammerhead

Feb 9, 2010
Michael Hogan

In February 2020 an American battleship leaves Pearl Harbor on it\'s way to the Yangtzi River and the heart of China. Upon arrival, an American Admiral hosts a reception, for all Imperial Chinese power brokers, on the deck of the great ship. By 2020 the old communist officials had been replaced by a new Emperor and attendant eunuchs. The respect for the past was now a requirement as dominant as the communist ideology once was.

Trained at America\'s finest military finishing schools, Admiral Ralph Hammerhead is cool among the new Chinese royalty (actually the same ruling elite as in communist days). There is dancing. Admiral Hammerhead is said to be the finest dancer since the communist foreign secretary Chou En Lai  entertained Henry Kissinger when Mao was in power. Some of the new Chinese royals thought the admiral\'s uniform looked threadbare and tattered.Others thought they saw rust on the great ship and said it was beginning to look like a Russian naval vessel.

Soon the official ceremony began. Admiral Hammerhead bowed and formerly kowtowed to all Chinese officials. He then presented all with astoundingly costly gifts or bribes. Hammerhead then unfurled a scroll and began to read what seemed to be begging. A United States admiral is  seen begging each of the officials in turn in the way Chinese peasants begged before Emperors 6000 years ago. There is a style to it all. Hammerhead knows the drill. As a cadet at Annapolis,Hammerhead didn\'t think his duties would include kowtowing to foreign potentates. Yet, this became the navy\'s main mission after the 7th Iraq War went badly and bankruptcy forced a changing of the Imperial guard as China became the new Imperial leader of the world power monopoly.

The ceremony itself was much like many the admiral had to step through over the years. As American money and equities became virtually worthless, America became like Blanche Dubois in Tennesse Williams\' play "Streetcar Named desire", always dependent on the kindness of strangers. Toward the end of the ceremony, the Chinese potentates wanted to know a few things. How much worthless paper (10 year bonds) did the Americans need the Chinese to buy to keep the American economy afloat? At what price? In what currency?

At the last visit,the Chinese would pay only 7 cents on the dollar for dollar bonds. Admiral Hammerhead demanded America be paid in euros. Things had gotten so bad, even American government officials didn\'t want the dollar.

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